Have been in troubled relationship, then my live-in bloyfriend had a heart attack. Help?
Kallie J asked:
I’ve loved lhis man I have been with for a little over a year. We live together (in our 40’s). He lost all interest in romance, sex, doing anything fun as soon as I moved in. He wanted nothing intimate at all for a year, said he didn’t feel well.My wishes or needs didn’t matter. No doctor would help us. Then he had his heart attack. Thank God he lived! He is like a ghost of a man now. He is irritable, nasty, depressed, and doesn’t care or listen to me at all. I understand it’s a huge thing/healing he is going through and I have done everything possible I can to help him heal. But he doesn’t want to change his eating, still eats crap etc, I feel he has a secret death wish. I have been extremely unhappy, lonely, sad and yearing for intimacy, building a life,and true love for a long time. We’re like friendly roomates our whole relationship. Since his attack, I thought maybe we’d have a 2nd chance, even though we never really were happy. I want to leave, but feel guilty and worry about him
Gerard
I’ve loved lhis man I have been with for a little over a year. We live together (in our 40’s). He lost all interest in romance, sex, doing anything fun as soon as I moved in. He wanted nothing intimate at all for a year, said he didn’t feel well.My wishes or needs didn’t matter. No doctor would help us. Then he had his heart attack. Thank God he lived! He is like a ghost of a man now. He is irritable, nasty, depressed, and doesn’t care or listen to me at all. I understand it’s a huge thing/healing he is going through and I have done everything possible I can to help him heal. But he doesn’t want to change his eating, still eats crap etc, I feel he has a secret death wish. I have been extremely unhappy, lonely, sad and yearing for intimacy, building a life,and true love for a long time. We’re like friendly roomates our whole relationship. Since his attack, I thought maybe we’d have a 2nd chance, even though we never really were happy. I want to leave, but feel guilty and worry about him
Gerard
July 19th, 2008 at 4:58 am
Probeer kunt u terecht voor professionele hulp en hebben theraphy sessies bij elkaar en individuallly. Het geluk! God zegene je.
July 19th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
God forbid but what if he dies? Then you’d live the rest of your life in guilt too. He doesn’t want or need you honey so leave him. It’ll be hard cos you obviously love him… but has it occurred to you that it might be your refusal to leave him might be the cause of his actions? depression et al? Maybe he doesn’t know how to tell you it’s over and so is reacting the only way he knows. And you, instead of getting the point, unfortunately, are clinging.
“If you love someone, let him go. If he comes back then he’s yours. If he doesn’t, then he was never yours.”
Sorry to be so hard on you but thats the way the cookie crumbles.
July 20th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
You want to leave, so leave. He is doing this to himself, not you. You have tried to help him all along. You can’t make yourself responsible for the things he does. I know you feel guilty but you have a life too. Talk to his family and have them come in to help. Gradually, just start taking interest again in what you used to do and let the family begin taking care of him. You don’t have to do it all at once, but little by little. If you want to remain friends, let him know, but you shouldn’t let yourself become his mother when he doesn’t even want to help himself.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Tenzij u bereid bent om controle van de verhouding over te nemen, dan moet u zo spoedig mogelijk weggaan en nooit terug kijken.
July 25th, 2008 at 3:39 am
ga zitten & vraag hem enkel waarom hij… vertelt hem u zo ongelukkig is denkt hij met iemand zou kunnen moeten spreken omdat hij zo ongelukkige & schijnt; gedeprimeerd. als hij won' t liet hem toen enkel u kennen can' t houdt levend als dit omdat uw niet gelukkige & samen uw verlaagt enig elkaar… als hij van u he' houdt; ll poging & begin dat sommige pogingen maakt om dingen beter te maken als niet u can' t voelt schuldig voor wat met hem gebeurt of zijn toekomstig… u heeft het leven om met hem te leven of zonder hem verdient iedereen gelukkig te zijn!!! de hoop u allebei vindt liefde & geluk goed geluk!!!
July 25th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
je nodig hebt om iemand te ontmoeten alleen voor het afhandelen van uw persoonlijke behoeften, iedereen heeft iemand nodig prsonally gewoon, je niet hoeft te worden in de liefde ie 'em je soms gewoon iemand nodig om te zorgen voor business!